I was going to post it there, but didn't want any resident Spellsword chasing me around with unfounded accusations of defacement. Just an idea that would not get out of my mind...))
From the Imperial Academy records,
The letter is marked with a very large “Denied” stamp. Several times. With significant force.This entry is rated G for Gnome. While the scribe attempted to verify each presented account with utter meticulousness, the gnomish penchant for secrecy (lies), alternative reality interpretation (lyin' straight through their rotten teeth), divergence in intellectual processes (lies) and general disinclination toward sharing information with members of other races (they are paranoid little isolationist bastards) may have inadvertently resulted in slight inaccuracies in the following entry.
The gnomish penchant for the use of a broom as an offensive weapon is as commonplace as it is unknown. Lore has it that it was the cultural weapon of the mystical gnomish homeland, the (using the standardized Imperial annotation) Zwee~p'erx.
Gnomish children are delighted with the tales of many of their folk heroes, which narratives frequently do feature war brooms. From the fabled barbarian Gnonan of Gymeria and his two-handed war broom, to the more recent stories of the hero-pirate Captain Gack Gparrow, he of the elegant light-weight dueling broom and erratic control thereof, one cannot dismiss the importance of the weapon on the course of gnomish history. Entire generations have been raised on the recounts of travels of the famous gnomish ranger, Gan Gollo, and his sand-troll companion Sobakka. Indeed, this cultural permeation can be easily witnessed by the heated exchanges that invariably occur, even between the sand gnomes of Cuhanna and the gnomish islanders of the frozen seas far north of Aona Inko'tu, wherever they meet, generally centered around the question of “who shot first.” It is only the unfortunate indifference of my fellow Imperial scholars that prevents us from taking part in this invigorating and exciting discourse.
In fact, even the deep gnomes' archetypical hero, Grizzt G'ourden, is well known to go into battle wielding dual brooms with, if the tales are to be believed, viciously sharpened bristles.
One can only marvel at what other wonders may be contained by the troublesomely ignored lore of the little folk (aside from halflings, the utterly rotten pikers). I would like hereto present my request to the Imperial Research Academy for a grant allowing us to further our understanding of the much neglected field of study.
Creteus (the no relation)
Postscriptum:
I also feel compelled to correct the recent claims of one of my esteemed learned colleagues.
No, Virginia, double-dire-war-brooms do not exist.
Handwriting by another hand at the bottom proclaims “Booze money”. The annotation has several exclamation marks – perhaps one or two too many to indicate a sane mind behind it. It is also underlined with, again, significant force. Even more times than there are applications of the stamp above.
The note was saved from incineration in the Imperial Ministry of Truth Heretical and Banned Works Disposal subdivision. The unauthorized attempt at destruction of Imperial documentation has been filed and lodged, as has the guilty party.