Sartorix’s Magical Emporium!
Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:59 pm
A poster drifts by on the wind....
Welcome to the Grand New Years Day Opening Of Sartorix’s Magical Emporium!
Spells fizzing out? Potions Running Dry? At the end of your wits?
Well not anymore! Thanks to Sartorix’s Magical Emporium you’ll never again have to suffer the indignity of being unprepared when that gaint throws his rock at you.
Just look at all these deals! Just hear these satisfied customers! All our products are tested for your safety!
Wands:
Mage Armour: 2000 Crowns, 2nd circle strength
Goblins got you down? Crafty rogues giving you the old backwards handshake? Well suit up with a Wand of Mage Armour, and watch as your defence becomes air tight!1
“Damned wizard! I can’t hit him! Stop laughing you son of a-!”–Thug
Protection from Evil: 2000 Crowns, 2nd circle strength
Worried about demons? Terrified for your immortal soul? Well chin up, Sartorix has you covered! With a Wand of Protection from Evil you can give those nasty’s the old one two.2
“ArrrggGGG!” –Displeased Ghoul
Ray of Frost: 400 crowns
Is it a bit too warm? Overheating in that clunky armour of yours? Well get a cool refreshing zap of cold with a Wand of frost!3
“AHH! Why did you hit me?! The enemies over there you idiot!” –Upset Adventurer
Colour Spray: 2000 Crowns, 2nd circle strength
Troll in your face? Someone giving you the evil eye? Well brighten their day with a Wand of Colour Spray! They’ll not forget you soon!4
“ERRR! ME EYES!” –(Now)Blind goblin
Combust: 6000 Crowns, 3rd circle strength
Steel not do it for you? The crunch of bones just not up to task? Well why not go a little crazy with a Wand of Combust! You’ll be the star of the show!5
“MY FLESH IS ON FIRE! IT IS A MOST TERRIBLE PAIN!” – Some Guy
Potions-
Enlarge Person – 100 Crowns
Feeling a little down? People walking by not even giving you a glance? Well why not stand out with a potion of Enlarge Person! The Ladies won’t be able to stop looking at you!7
Mage Armour- 200 Crowns, 2nd Caster Strength
Getting bopped on the head one too many times? Your chaffing metal suit of armour not as effective as you hoped? Well drink up a Potion of Mage Armour and fortify yourself!8
Endure Elements- 200 Crowns
Sweating over those traps? Just can’t take another fireball to the face? No more! With a potion of Endure Element you’ll be able to tan yourself by a lava pool!9
Protection from Evil- 200 Crowns, 2nd Caster Strength
Forces of Darkness got you down? Trying to avoid life as a mind controlled gimp? With a protection from evil potion those days will be behind you!10
True Strike- 300 crowns
Swings going wide? Unable to crack that hard shell? Well why don’t you take a potion of true strike, and watch in amazement as even a Dragons hide falls before your might! 11
Shield- 300 Crowns, 5th Caster Strength
The ole wooden shield not up to task? Leather armour not quite protecting you from sharp things? A potion of Shield will soon banish those worries away!12
Expeditious Retreat- 300 Crowns, 5th Caster Strength
Do you have recurring Nightmares about being chased by giant worms? Just have to get out of that cave right now? With a potion of Expeditious Retreat you’ll laugh as you speed ahead of your pursuers! 13
Darkness- 400 Crowns, 3rd Caster Strength
Bit too light outside? Miss whatever hole you crawled out of? With a potion of Darkness you’ll never again have to strain your eyes to the hardships of the surface world!14
Invisibility- 400 Crowns, 3rd Caster Strength
In a bit over your head? Really regretting following that fortune tellers advice? Say goodbye to your worries with a potion of Invisibility! Now you’re the one who goes bump in the night!15
Bulls strength- 2000 Crowns, 15th Casting Strength
Normal strength just not doing it? Old potions wearing out too soon? Then why not try some of Sartorix’s un-distilled Potion of Bulls Strength! You’ll show that fine pottery store what for! 16
This and more! Check back for more great deals! Don’t see something for you? Then why not make a request? We're here for your needs.
One stop buying not for you? Want a bit more? Why not bulk buy? Not only get a great discount but fill your bag to the brim with great and powerful items! 17
Order Form
----
Name:
Order:
Pick up Time:
(You will be contacted when your order has been received. All items can be collected at the Mistyvale inn at your convenience. Bulk orders must be paid up front to cover manufacturing costs, with a guarantee of receiving your goods within 2-3 days).
-----
1 If armour does in fact become air tight please follow step 58 from the intrusion manual.
2 Sartorix's Magical Emporium cannot be held responsible for any loss or theft of your soul.
3. Do not apply wand to face.
4. If memory loss occurs please direct yourself to your nearest oracle.
5. Do Not Use during any show, or upon a stage. Or near children.
7. Sartorix's Magical Emporium does not endorse kidnapping Ladies and climbing atop high towers.
8. After ingesting wait at least five hours before swimming.
9.Does not protect you from UV rays.
10. Sartorix's Magical Emporium does not judge. Even if you want to be a mind controlled gimp.
11. Do not use on a dragon.
12.If you begin to see in ‘bubble vision’ please close eyes for up to 5-10 days.
13. Sartorix's Magical Emporium politely asks that thieves do not buy this.
14. Does not protect you from racism.
15. Do not go bump in the night, you will disturb the Nightmare Bats.
16. If increased strength lasts longer then 24 hours please consult your local physician.
17. Sartorix's Magical Emporium cannot be held responsible for any rift or tearing of the space time continuum.
Welcome to the Grand New Years Day Opening Of Sartorix’s Magical Emporium!
Spells fizzing out? Potions Running Dry? At the end of your wits?
Well not anymore! Thanks to Sartorix’s Magical Emporium you’ll never again have to suffer the indignity of being unprepared when that gaint throws his rock at you.
Just look at all these deals! Just hear these satisfied customers! All our products are tested for your safety!
Wands:
Mage Armour: 2000 Crowns, 2nd circle strength
Goblins got you down? Crafty rogues giving you the old backwards handshake? Well suit up with a Wand of Mage Armour, and watch as your defence becomes air tight!1
“Damned wizard! I can’t hit him! Stop laughing you son of a-!”–Thug
Protection from Evil: 2000 Crowns, 2nd circle strength
Worried about demons? Terrified for your immortal soul? Well chin up, Sartorix has you covered! With a Wand of Protection from Evil you can give those nasty’s the old one two.2
“ArrrggGGG!” –Displeased Ghoul
Ray of Frost: 400 crowns
Is it a bit too warm? Overheating in that clunky armour of yours? Well get a cool refreshing zap of cold with a Wand of frost!3
“AHH! Why did you hit me?! The enemies over there you idiot!” –Upset Adventurer
Colour Spray: 2000 Crowns, 2nd circle strength
Troll in your face? Someone giving you the evil eye? Well brighten their day with a Wand of Colour Spray! They’ll not forget you soon!4
“ERRR! ME EYES!” –(Now)Blind goblin
Combust: 6000 Crowns, 3rd circle strength
Steel not do it for you? The crunch of bones just not up to task? Well why not go a little crazy with a Wand of Combust! You’ll be the star of the show!5
“MY FLESH IS ON FIRE! IT IS A MOST TERRIBLE PAIN!” – Some Guy
Potions-
Enlarge Person – 100 Crowns
Feeling a little down? People walking by not even giving you a glance? Well why not stand out with a potion of Enlarge Person! The Ladies won’t be able to stop looking at you!7
Mage Armour- 200 Crowns, 2nd Caster Strength
Getting bopped on the head one too many times? Your chaffing metal suit of armour not as effective as you hoped? Well drink up a Potion of Mage Armour and fortify yourself!8
Endure Elements- 200 Crowns
Sweating over those traps? Just can’t take another fireball to the face? No more! With a potion of Endure Element you’ll be able to tan yourself by a lava pool!9
Protection from Evil- 200 Crowns, 2nd Caster Strength
Forces of Darkness got you down? Trying to avoid life as a mind controlled gimp? With a protection from evil potion those days will be behind you!10
True Strike- 300 crowns
Swings going wide? Unable to crack that hard shell? Well why don’t you take a potion of true strike, and watch in amazement as even a Dragons hide falls before your might! 11
Shield- 300 Crowns, 5th Caster Strength
The ole wooden shield not up to task? Leather armour not quite protecting you from sharp things? A potion of Shield will soon banish those worries away!12
Expeditious Retreat- 300 Crowns, 5th Caster Strength
Do you have recurring Nightmares about being chased by giant worms? Just have to get out of that cave right now? With a potion of Expeditious Retreat you’ll laugh as you speed ahead of your pursuers! 13
Darkness- 400 Crowns, 3rd Caster Strength
Bit too light outside? Miss whatever hole you crawled out of? With a potion of Darkness you’ll never again have to strain your eyes to the hardships of the surface world!14
Invisibility- 400 Crowns, 3rd Caster Strength
In a bit over your head? Really regretting following that fortune tellers advice? Say goodbye to your worries with a potion of Invisibility! Now you’re the one who goes bump in the night!15
Bulls strength- 2000 Crowns, 15th Casting Strength
Normal strength just not doing it? Old potions wearing out too soon? Then why not try some of Sartorix’s un-distilled Potion of Bulls Strength! You’ll show that fine pottery store what for! 16
This and more! Check back for more great deals! Don’t see something for you? Then why not make a request? We're here for your needs.
One stop buying not for you? Want a bit more? Why not bulk buy? Not only get a great discount but fill your bag to the brim with great and powerful items! 17
Order Form
----
Name:
Order:
Pick up Time:
(You will be contacted when your order has been received. All items can be collected at the Mistyvale inn at your convenience. Bulk orders must be paid up front to cover manufacturing costs, with a guarantee of receiving your goods within 2-3 days).
-----
1 If armour does in fact become air tight please follow step 58 from the intrusion manual.
2 Sartorix's Magical Emporium cannot be held responsible for any loss or theft of your soul.
3. Do not apply wand to face.
4. If memory loss occurs please direct yourself to your nearest oracle.
5. Do Not Use during any show, or upon a stage. Or near children.
7. Sartorix's Magical Emporium does not endorse kidnapping Ladies and climbing atop high towers.
8. After ingesting wait at least five hours before swimming.
9.Does not protect you from UV rays.
10. Sartorix's Magical Emporium does not judge. Even if you want to be a mind controlled gimp.
11. Do not use on a dragon.
12.If you begin to see in ‘bubble vision’ please close eyes for up to 5-10 days.
13. Sartorix's Magical Emporium politely asks that thieves do not buy this.
14. Does not protect you from racism.
15. Do not go bump in the night, you will disturb the Nightmare Bats.
16. If increased strength lasts longer then 24 hours please consult your local physician.
17. Sartorix's Magical Emporium cannot be held responsible for any rift or tearing of the space time continuum.
