The Temple of Nuarari

[Mensha Khaine]

The temple was the same as every other visit, the sounds of the outside world fading and being replaced by soft, soothing music as she descended further into the temple. She had been here a number of times, her presence drawing a casual act of recognition, with a nod here and a smile there. There was, that familiar sense of guilt well up inside her, that she was here once again, not to worship the Goddess, but for her own selfish reasons of finding relief.

She found her usual spot, a clear patch of cool stone, a small pillow, the only creature comfort she would use. She let the calming sense of the temple fill her and combed it with a hummed tune she learned from her childhood, to chase away the butterflies in her stomach. The hum eventually slowed and ceased as the restful trance of the Elves took hold.

To begin with the Elven sleep looked normal to any passer-by, but as time pass, small twitches started to appear, a flash of a frown, a tremble of the fingers. Sweat slowly began forming on her forehead, pooling and rolling down as she frowns came and went. The twitch in her fingers, moved up her arms, pulling toward herself as if pulling back from something trying to hold her arm, only to have it slide back into place. As time passed on the effect took over her legs as well, quickly pulling and slowly sliding back into place all the while building in pace. Her breathing becoming more and more erratic.

While the twitching continued, her body rolled onto her side, and curled up and best it could. Faster and faster the twitches came until suddenly all movement stop. No twitching no rushing of the eyes behind her eye lids, no breathing, nothing.

Abruptly her body rolled on its back, her arms, launching out to her side, her head thrown back with such force it arched her back, the only sound was a desperate inhale, as if someone who had been drowning finally broke the surface of the water…

With a coughing splutter she was awake.

((Background here - Entry 40 viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11593&p=117550#p117550

[Mensha Khaine]

Her pupils were dilated, the rushing of light restricting her sight to vague shadows. Her ears rang with the pounding of her heart, muffling all sounds. Adrenaline was already rushing through her tiny body mixing with the rush of fear. Instinctively she sat up trying to recall where she was, but her survival reflexes over ruled her mind. Her hands grasped franticly on the stone floors, her legs pushing her slowly back into a shadowy corner to hide from the shadows.

[baby1111007]

The acolyte had come for her, seeking her at her home. he walked into the temple, the priestesses offering information is hushed whispers. Lillianne nodded, her eyes flickering with a hint of worry. She found where the dragon blooded girl rested, placing her cool hand on her forehead. She began to sing one of the sweet lullabye's the Moonsingers were known for, her voice pure and sweet, though not as trained as the others. While doing so, she called upon the healing powers of the goddess, insuring the girl was alright. Last of all came a spell of protection against evil, just in case some being was tormenting the poor lass.

[Mensha Khaine]

A shadow moved toward her, it reached out for her head and she flinched, still not sure where she was, nor able to see who it might be. The hand was soft and cool, through her muffled hearing a soft soothing sound pierced through, it did not feel dangerous, the song or the shadow. So she raised her hands and gentle touched the arm at her forehead, slowly moving up the arm while gently drawing the shadow lower, until she could reach its shoulders, from there she spread her hands across them as if measuring them.

The voice, it is not a man’s and the shoulders, too narrow, to be even an Elven males. She paused and frowned just for a moment Why does that matter?

She tried to speak, but her words were muffled in her ears, preventing her from forming the words correctly. She felt the prayers wash over her, a hint of recognition seeped through, I’m in the temple . The fear subsided a little, restoring some measure of control. Using her hands to shield her eyes from the light she stared into the shadows, letting them slowly readjust.

She could see the woman now and recognised her immediately, she nodded to her and then covered her ear and mouth while shaking her head. Isha paused for a moment to make sure she understood and to think of a way to communicate. Her eyes drifted around the room, settling on the familiar form of her back pack. She scrambled to it, pulling out her Journal a blank page and writing instruments.

She flipped to the last page of her journal and held up two fingers, then intentionally folded the second one into her hand, using the first straight finger to point to her journal. She hoped it was enough to say it was in two parts and handed her the journal. Seeing Lillianne take the book and being to read, she franticly began to write.

****
While standing in the void a shadowy form appeared, it large bulk slowly taking shape. A dragon, it was all colours yet none, it voice seemed to echo. “Good Isha, good girl” its voice was filled with amusement. It flew around me, coming closer and closer, but somehow shrinking as it did, until it sat at my feet. “You have blindly helped many, but are you sure you’re doing good?”

It climbed onto me, coiling its way onto my back, so its head rested on my shoulder. “You know there are those that think you rob them of the opportunity to grow, to fend for themselves”.

“No, it is wrong to ignore them” I said.

“So you are the weaklings champion?” Its head swapped to the other shoulder “You are their savour? Do you know where that path leads? Do you even know if what you are being asked to do is good godless one?” It leapt off my back and flew straight up. “Let me show you”

Something moved in the void, a single shadowy figure, “HELP ME!” it cried, “I can’t find my husband” another appeared behind my again “HELP ME! My family starves” more and more appeared all crying out “HELP ME!”, they all came closer and closer, clinging and pulling at my limbs. The shadows grew in such numbers they climbed over each other to get to me.

“Ever stop and ask yourself why you need to be so good?” The dragon cried out as it flew away.

There were so many shadows, pulling and tugging me this way and that, swarming around and over me. They were so, heavy I could not stand, there were so close I could barely breath. I was, drowning is in a sea of shadows.

***
Isha handed her the paper, her eyes pleading for someone to make sense of it

[baby1111007]

Lily had taken her time reading what was written and pondering various meanings. Instead of just jumping right in and making rash statements, she spent a few moments in prayer, listening for the voice of her goddess as she stroked Isha's head to calm her.

"It is often said that animals can be guides in our dreams..spirit shamans. Perhaps the dragon is yours and is leading you to question things that you wish not to face when you are awake. I feel like I am going to be forced to tell you something that recently my own husband and I have struggled with... Isha, one person cannot save everyone. To attempt to do so, you lose yourself. Sometimes, you will be forced to chose whom to save. And sometimes you have to chose yourself. It does mot make you evil or selfish. It makes you...mortal. We are not gods."

She watches the girl seriously and goes on. "From our talks, you seem to have a notion that our world fits so neatly in boxes of right and wrong. You are unable to see the grey, and people will take advantage of that. To believe that the only way to be "good" is to always help even if it means sacrificing yourself is a dangerous notion...one that the evil in the world can and will exploit."

The priestess pauses, not wishing to hurt the girl, but knowing she will find her words hard to accept.

"The dragon asks not why to you wish to be good...but why do you need to be good. This implies that deep down, you are not merely being good for the sake of being good. Perhaps you feel that you have to be good, that you must appease someone or something. Or that you must be good in order to make up for something."

"I have always believed that our dreams force us to face the things that we try to hide from, the things we bury deep within ourselves. But, these fears, these thoughts, these memories...they always bubble up to the surface. You may wish to ponder, what are you suppressing? What memories, what thoughts have you buried...and what reasons do you really have for thinking that it must be all one way or another. I fear for you, Isha...because all of us need a little selfishness, all of us need to make mistakes. But the way you are now, I fear that is you would make a mistake...if you would do something that does not fit in your concept of right and wrong...that you would fall into utter despair. "

[Mensha Khaine]

The throbbing that was distorting her hearing had subsided as she watched Lillianne read and pray. She drew some comfort from having a friend near, but it was not enough to stop her anxiety altogether. Her face saddened further as she spoke, almost like a child being corrected, a touch of shame that she felt unable to rationalise the grey areas of life.

“..but why do you need to be good. This implies that deep down, you are not merely being good for the sake of being good..”

Something flashed across her face as if a big part of the jigsaw puzzle had fallen into place, the picture starting to take shape yet still incomplete.

“..force us to face the things that we try to hide from, the things we bury deep within ourselves..”

The words touched a nerve somewhere inside her, tears began to build, but her face read of confusion.

“I… honestly.. I do not know what it is, or what it could be…” she did not need to say it as it was clearly written on her face “…I am frightened.. “ her jaw and hands trembled with each breath “…if it has been buried… it… it can’t be good..” Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks “..these dreams.. my guide… it will.. not stop… until they have come out will they?” She did not need a verbal answer, she saw it on Lillianne kindly face.

Isha, closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths as she tried to calm herself, to push back some of the fear. She opened them slowly, the trembling had stopped and the tears slowed. “How can I draw them out?” some of the fear returned as she asked one last question “…must… must I face them alone?”

[Vahene]

In another part of the Temple . . .

Two of the Whisperers suddenly look around, appearing to be alarmed.

"Did you feel that?" the first asked. "It almost felt like--"

"Don't say it," the second responded quickly.

"Why not? You felt it too. Someone nears. Someone to take the oath--"

"You are too young to recognize what you are feeling, girl," a third, older Whisperer entered the conversation. "It is a familiar presence, but an angry one. One with a close connection to our Lady. We must watch and be wary."

The other two frowned.

"Someone has fallen?"

The third merely laughed.