It's not easy being horn-ed...

True stories and tall tales from the bards of Dasaria.
Chia
Dasarian Scout
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:43 pm
Main Player Character: A paladin. Honest!
Location: Anywhere, as long as it has shinies.

It's not easy being horn-ed...

Post by Chia »

Continued from: viewtopic.php?t=2636
*

She stepped into something soft…

She liked the place. The rats always dragged something interesting down into the stench of the caves, and she always felt better where the first, and usually correct, response to unexpected appearance was to swing something hurtful at whatever just popped in front of you. It was definitely an improvement over the cautious maneuvering she had to do above, on the streets of the city, where everybody it would seem was just looking for one wrong word or move.

Philosophically speaking, she was always walking on shi-

Something shined up ahead. Moving silently, her steps slow and measured among the old parchments soaked in gods knew what, she approached a pile of old rags and metal scraps. It must have been a really big rat to drag the great-axe sticking from under a piece of fur hosting a bustling bug colony.

The world was full of surprises. Just a few moments ago she could have sworn nothing could make the air in the tunnel worse, but there it was. As she pulled at the axe, the motion dislodging something within the pile that gave off a gust of soft and warm air, almost causing her to choke despite the piece of cloth wrapped over her mouth and nose.

She glanced at the weapon in her hand, noticing the tell-tale lack of any magic enchantments whatsoever. Something unmentionable slid from the end of the shaft. Further up, several fleas were making a hopeful way toward her hand.

The metal clattered against the stone wall of the tunnel, then plopped among the debris strewn all over the ground. The quality of the air did not improve as various vapors arose from the disturbed piles.

Brushing her hands against the leather armor covering her tights, she paused, her ears detecting a previously absent sound in the distance. It sounded like many claws scratching on stone, paper, and…

…and they were getting closer.

She moved quickly toward one of the half-collapsed doors of the long-forgotten cellars, pausing at the doorframe. Reaching toward one of the many of her pouches, she pulled an elaborate contraption of metal and leather.

Then put it away. She had kind of a bad experience with fire traps recently…

Another seemingly random mangle of wires came out, taking her but a short time to be affixed against the doorframe. The rotted wood was nice to work with, if one ignored the occasional pale worm falling out of the holes she dug with a dagger. Or the large centipede that was rushing toward the cover of her boot...

She jolted back, leaving a taut wire spread at a hand’s breath over the ground between the both sides of the door. A small box, concealed behind the doorstep, was easily lost in the chaos on the floor.

She walked at a brisk pace toward the door leading out, ignoring the sounds made by the old parchments as she walked over them. The odd noises were getting closer, and doors were her friends in places like that – whatever was coming, it would be limited by the door’s width. Maybe she had time for another trap?

Clearly not, as her orange eyes focused on the dark tide flowing from beyond the tunnel’s bend. One benefit of her ancestry was vision superior to that of a human, one of the reasons she enjoyed excursions underground. Not all beings inhabiting various caves, cellars, tunnels and ruins could match it, and advantage in any form was always welcome.

The large rats, rushing through the tunnel, had no problem with the darkness, either. She wondered, just before they reached the door, if she should not have gone with the fire trap, after all. Unfortunately, it was too late for that. What she could do, however…

The sharp zap of liberated magic filled the air, along with the blinding explosion of light that curved around her fingers placed over both eyes to save her dark vision. A loud chorus burst forth from the rats, the keening of creatures struck, all of a sudden, by a magically fueled bolt of lightning.

As the flash faded, she removed her hand and glanced toward the door. It stood untouched, with the first, wolf-sized, rat through the door lying in front of the terminally stopped advance of the still quivering bodies.

Something moved further in. Several shapes stepped around the corner, causing her hands to tighten on the handles of her still sheathed weapons.

The hands, holding rusted blades and clubs, seemed to end in claws, and the mouths, curved in vicious expressions, revealed much too many of incisors. A tail flicked behind the leading humanoid shape, with the company taking positions behind in an all too disconcerting display of intelligence.

She really needed to round up some crew. Or just join one…

Backing up through the door hastily, she drew her short sword and hand axe, leaning closer toward the wall of the tunnel curving away from the door. First one through was up for a nasty surpris-

The axe descended at the same time as she stabbed at the lunge the first rat-man made through the door. Contrary to the plan, instead of sliding into its innards the short sword’s point slid over the creature’s furred chest, opening a superficial wound that probably managed to just annoy it further.

The screech that it responded to the axe bouncing ineffectively off of its skull merely confirmed her suspicion. Unbidden snippets of overheard campside conversations rushed through her mind as she launched herself backward, away from the point of the rusty dagger thrust at her.

Weres right under the city? They were resilient to normal weapons, and could be hurt only by… uh. Steak? Onions? Garl- no, that was vampires…

Silver!

She dodged a swipe of clawed hand by sheer luck, dropping her short sword and reaching desperately to the large pouch on her right hip. She did not remember selling it yet, so she must have had it…

She threw the axe at the creature in front of her. There was enough room for a good swing of the head, and even if they could not have been hurt by the impact, it probably made their head ring or some such. It definitely forced the attacker back into the room for that split second while she desperately searched…

Her hand closed on a small vial. She was about to release it to continue the hasty inventory-taking, then paused for a split second.

The wererats were trying to move past the one she just forced back with the axe throw, and it looked like she had about a blink of an eye to do something. So… why not?

The pulled out the vial, tossed it at the leading were, and turned to launch herself into the bending tunnel beyond as the vial of alchemist fire hit the creature and dropped to the ground.

The vials were not meant to last.

There was a thump, sudden rush of air, then a loud, and hot, follow-up.

The parchments were definitely not something to keep around an open flame.

*

Some time later the cover of a small manhole behind Cear’s finest cheese store moved, releasing puffs of acrid smoke from within. A soothy-looking female, coughing and wheezing as she removed the mask from her face, quickly climbed up and darted away in the nook between the inner walls and buildings.

Luckily, there were no observers, as unexpected smoke seeping through the pavement of the city in various places meant all gawkers were already preoccupied.

Chia paused, ineffectively rubbing at her face to remove the streaks of dark grit covering it. The bend in the tunnel, coupled with an unexpectedly welcome moving stone of a secret passage, made the difference between alive Chia and crisp Chia. Moreover, it also turned to lead into a small cavern with some forgotten, and expensive, equipment stashed there who knows how long ago.

She also found the silver necklace she was trying to fight the werewolves with. Although now that thought struck her as a little bit under-considered.

She considered making an offering to Teshalia off of it.

*

A few hours later, washed and changed, she pawned it along with the rest of the loot.

Gods, after all, had far fewer needs than a lonely tiefling.
I am not contrary!
Elrith
Wondrous Prognosticator
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Main Player Character: Elrith
Other PCs: Beatrix Flittermoon / Beryl Flittermoon / Camryn / Kaneko Rin
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Location: A cave.

Post by Elrith »

Excellent story telling.

I particularly liked this line...
Weres right under the city? They were resilient to normal weapons, and could be hurt only by… uh. Steak? Onions? Garl- no, that was vampires…
Xul: ~Elrith ~Maiden Camryn ~Beatrix Flittermoon~Beryl Flittermoon~Kaneko Rin
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DM Sabre
Dasarian Hero
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Post by DM Sabre »

I loved this!
" But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya punk? - Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood)
SnorriHT
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Location: Taswegia, in the land of Oz

Post by SnorriHT »

I love the humour :)
Latishe Vaine - Priestess of Brintha, and Daughter of the Earthmother
Chia
Dasarian Scout
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:43 pm
Main Player Character: A paladin. Honest!
Location: Anywhere, as long as it has shinies.

Post by Chia »

Please forward all your kind donations to Chia Retirement Found.

Only reasonable amounts counted in emperors and/or +2 equipment and above accepted, this is no Salvation Army, all right?

Thank you, all :)
I am not contrary!
Mon-da-oth
Forum Troll
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Main Player Character: Rhode Wraigh
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Post by Mon-da-oth »

Rhode: Tosses a dead fish into Chia's lap. "Dats alls Is gots."

*good story though*
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Will
Dasarian Hero
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Main Player Character: William Dearborn
Other PCs: Ganrai
Location: At A Crossroads

Post by Will »

*throws rotten vegetables* :twisted:

That's to help with the smell. :P
William Trueborn | The Heretic
Matthew Croven | Faithful Servant of Peralia
Chia
Dasarian Scout
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:43 pm
Main Player Character: A paladin. Honest!
Location: Anywhere, as long as it has shinies.

Post by Chia »

*Scoops up the rotten vegetables, walks nonchalantly behind Will, then dumps the content of her hand behind his collar, waving the silvery body as she runs away*

So long, and thanks for the fish!

(Couldn't help it :D)
I am not contrary!
Elrith
Wondrous Prognosticator
Posts: 1033
Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:53 am
Main Player Character: Elrith
Other PCs: Beatrix Flittermoon / Beryl Flittermoon / Camryn / Kaneko Rin
Bioware Username: Xul13
Location: A cave.

Post by Elrith »

Chia wrote:*Scoops up the rotten vegetables, walks nonchalantly behind Will, then dumps the content of her hand behind his collar, waving the silvery body as she runs away*

So long, and thanks for the fish!

(Couldn't help it :D)
:lol:
Xul: ~Elrith ~Maiden Camryn ~Beatrix Flittermoon~Beryl Flittermoon~Kaneko Rin
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Greyshore
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Other PCs: Vin Di'lane
Noa Longbane
Iliv'inil Aleanmtor
Location: Intarwebs Bot Island.

Post by Greyshore »

I enjoyed reading it. Great job, Chia.
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Nemesis
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Post by Nemesis »

:lol: great read!
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Shea_EvilBane
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Location: Australia...lol no where better

Post by Shea_EvilBane »

nice, i love stories that give humor and good stuff lol keep it up!!
There are two levers for moving men — interest and fear.
-------------------------------------------------------
The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all.

you be the fox and i will be the hedgehog
Chia
Dasarian Scout
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:43 pm
Main Player Character: A paladin. Honest!
Location: Anywhere, as long as it has shinies.

Post by Chia »

((A big thank you to certain paladyn for making me get this out of my system. Please forward all and any complaints to Maeve :lol:

*

Dear Roggins

I just wanted to clear some points, on account of my hearing you’ve been thinking about talking to the guards.

For one, I don’t know who blew up my bath and made all that mess in the room I was renting, but it sure wasn’t me. I almost got blown up myself back then.

And sorry for running into you in the corridor like that, but there was this psycho woman behind with a glowy sword, and I really didn’t feel like stopping to talk about unfair accusations.



Sitting at the Buck and trying to ignore the more rowdy patrons as she gave writing an apology to the owner of the Mistyvale a try, Chia glared down at the inoffensive piece of parchment in front of her. Her spiky and disarrayed writing, covering just the top third of the page, did not seem to carry the same strength as the thoughts that put it down there. Besides, she absolutely did not feel that she should have apologized in the first place. It was not her fault people always assumed the worst just because she had a set of horns, courtesy of the unknown parent. Life was just so not fair!

“Why, hello there“

The voice did not sound like the usual half-drunken dock worker, or the definitely drunken Kalem member doing his best at pretending he had nothing to do with the notorious guild of the city’s worst scum. Turning face toward the owner of the youthful voice, she could not but notice the prideful growth of facial hair – unfortunately, far too sparse and irregular to make for the dashing goatee the owner of the face apparently aimed at. Listening to the young man, she took in the thickly woven material of the clothing, a belt made of poorly tanned hide, and general feel of a specialized kind of poverty.

“I saw you sitting here alone and was thinki- CULNUL’S TOUCH! What happened to your face?!”

She reached toward the large scar in question, turning her face further to better bring out the destruction of her flesh in the meager illumination of the inn.

“A halfer and a woodie. Hey, glad to be of help”

The young man, doing a double take, bowed slightly.

“My apologies, oh fair maiden, but the sight took me off-guard. I do beg of your indulgence. Perhaps I might join you in celebrating this fine evening with a glass of the finest this establishment might offer?”

She watched with bemusement, particularly after his arm, outstretched back in the deep bow the man performed, got in the way of a stumbling sailor with an aura of somebody pursuing imminent death of alcohol poisoning, or at least a hefty bill for a cleric’s curative services. She reached out, pulling at the thickly woven folds of the stranger’s inexpensive tunic, forcing him out of balance to end hanging on both sides of the bench she was sitting at. The sailor, in the meantime, found his own steadiness severely lacking as the badly aimed punch he threw failed to connect with the intended target. With a loud crash, the sprawled on the floor.

“Don’t worry about him, somebody will clear him out soon.”

The young man, pulling himself to a sitting position, adjusted his roughly tailored clothing.

“You mean help out?”

“Possibly. So, got any more questions?”

He seemed to consider the situation, taking a brief moment to glance under the table at the steadily snoring individual down on the floor.

“Actually, plenty. But perhaps I was amiss in troubling you, miss”

She snorted loudly, looking pointedly at his coarse attire.

“This place might be a dump, but they overcharge on the drinks as well. So, ‘finest?’”

He sighed in a manner of a man tortured by the fates, nodding admission of the oversight.

“Perhaps there is some truth to what you are implying. Alas, Teshalia undoubtedly looks more favorably at halflings than humans. While I strive for but a moment of luck, it seems to be all spent on Merridale in keeping him alive and well.”

Chia blinked, trying to associate the familiar sounding name with a face, or even a vague outline of a person.

“Oh! You mean the theater guy?”

Conductor Merridale. A halfling that surely must have divine protection in order to survive every and each day of complete disassociation from reality.”

“Huh. So you’re from the theater?”

The young man performed a more constrained version of the previously exhibited bow,

“Travis Helocke. Thespian extraordinaire and wordsmith of renown.”

She glanced at the tortured letter, then back at the clothes certainly more befitting an extraordinary cess-peon than a ‘wordsmith of renown.’ The idea kicked in the door to her thoughts, somersaulted in, and dispatched all others with swift kicks of its hobnailed boots.

“So… you’re good at bull, huh? How much for some custom writing?”

*

To the esteemed master Roggins, proprietor

It is with a grave heart that I recall the misunderstanding under which I departed from your exceptional establishment. With your permission, I would like to explain my reasons, inasmuch as they may shed the light on the unfortunate circumstances that led to the strife existing between us.

I cannot venture a guess as to the motivation behind the immature prank which caused the explosion of the content of my bathtub, but I would like to express my deepest regrets to the damage that it caused. I realize that my word may not have much bearing with you, yet I would like to assure you my complete disassociation with the origin of that event.

I must at this point express my deepest compunction about the ill-fated occurrence in the inn’s hallway. I meant no disrespect in my hurry, yet the circumstances compelled me to take hasty measures to prevent a disturbance in your inn. I regret that my actions merely aggravated the unnecessary conflict between us; however, I am certain that the full account of the events that transpired prior to your arrival would change your perspective at the motives of my actions, and, hopefully, allow me a chance at remediating the appalling state of affairs.

With your permission, I would like to offer restitution for your trouble as soon as my financial situation improves to do so in a sufficient manner taking into account the scale of my misdeeds.

Should you find it convenient to contact me, please feel free to do so through one Travis Helocke, lodging at the Two Tales theater.

With my deepest regards, and hoping for a reply

~Chia


She looked the well-shaped lettering on the parchment, save for the spiky signature. Rereading it yet again, she reached to her money pouch.

“You’re good. Definitely worth the money. Hey, if I ever need more work like that done, you’re up for it, right?”

“Most definitely and at any time, my lady.”

She glanced at the man, smirking at such an easy coming flattery. Pulling out the coins, she tossed them on the table. A few heads turned at the clink of precious metal hitting the wood, then turned away in a nonchalant way of people making a note of the bearer of the coins.

“Yeah, right. Thanks for the writing.”

The man looked down at the gold, then back at her, flashing a smile that definitely belonged on the theater’s stage.

“Perhaps instead of the payment I could persuade you to keep me company for the evening? I must admit to being rather intrigued by your vibrant personality.”

With a loud snort, she stood up, pointing at one of the few unaccompanied, if for the moment, women.

“You know, try her. It’s cheaper, and you get more, too. Just don’t forget to give the letter to the dwarf.”

She rose up, moving toward the door out. It was rather convenient to have the Kalem hideout nearby. She sure could use… think of it as a long-term loan. They didn’t need all the valuables, anyway. Would drink themselves to death with them, probably.

All in all, it was going to benefit all involved.

More or less.
I am not contrary!
Rheia Althia
Dasarian Scout
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Main Player Character: Maeve Eamnon
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Post by Rheia Althia »

((Ha! That was great Chia! Very creative! I enjoyed it. Maeve will be pleased that she actually went through with it.))
SnorriHT
Dasarian Hero
Posts: 787
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:22 am
Location: Taswegia, in the land of Oz

Post by SnorriHT »

((very clever. While Roggins may forgive and forget, Latishe maybe a little harder to convince. Maeve has also got Latishe entirely confused as well. But in the end the Empire of Varana is about grinding dissidents down until they make a mistake. The outcome is not in doubt, it is just a matter of time... :wink:
Latishe Vaine - Priestess of Brintha, and Daughter of the Earthmother
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